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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Mine
New York's first lady?
The title will be all mine
Enforced cocktail time!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Fat
I was a chef stud
Sexed up all the FN chicks
Before I was fat
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tears
Smiling through my tears
I keep repeating myself
They won't let me stop
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Poison
No one likes my food
I have a little secret
I added poison
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Ghosts
Ghosts keep me awake
Will I win the next throw down?
Or reveal my lie?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Buried
I'll grill all of you
Who's buried in my basement?
That's Jackie Malouf
Monday, September 21, 2009
Bitch
Food Net is my bitch
I run this whole goddamn show
I'll throw your ass down
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sunk
How low have I sunk?
Chopping onions and garlic
Cocktail time is beer
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Shut
I can't stop talking
Please someone help me shut up
My food is garbage
Friday, September 18, 2009
Breasts
My purpose in life?
To cook Italian food
They just see my breasts
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Die
I deep fry butter
Eat bacon grease for dessert
So why can't I die?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Nightmare
Cheap ingredients
Have replaced my tablescapes
Life is a nightmare
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Womb
Plain white countertops
Barren kitchen, like my womb
My face is falling
Monday, September 14, 2009
Whole
I cook but don't taste
There's never enough vodka
I will eat you whole
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Fill
Empty place inside
Maybe food will fill it up
My jeans are too tight
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Buds
Poor drunken Sandra
Spent money on boobs and booze
Has no tastebuds left
Friday, September 11, 2009
Soup
I drank during prep
Must go potty in the soup
Please don't tell the crew
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Crumbs
First, add the bread crumbs
Next, garlic, oil and whiskey
What was I saying?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Food
Mix a batch of drinks
Food? Oh yeah, there's some of that
I almost forgot
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Forget
I am everywhere
Nightmares, craft store, and kitchen
Drink now, and forget
Monday, September 7, 2009
Bags
Bags, boxes and cans
Into the oven they go
You're none the wiser
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Love
Oh poor Kwanzaa cake!
I filled you with all my love
What's wrong with corn nuts?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Camera
Camera sees all
Will it not leave me alone?
I'll hide in vodka
Friday, September 4, 2009
Worst
New show is the worst
Food costs were no problem once
Whither cocktail time?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Freckle
Such pale freckled skin
Like ancho chile powder
Am I still a man?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
House
Thirty minutes gone
Yet my food is still a mess
My ass is a house
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Cheap
Meals have gotten cheap
But my boobs still cost a lot
What will Gordon think?
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2009
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October
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September
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Mine
Fat
Tears
Poison
Ghosts
Buried
Bitch
Sunk
Shut
Breasts
Die
Nightmare
Womb
Whole
Fill
Buds
Soup
Crumbs
Food
Forget
Bags
Love
Camera
Worst
Freckle
House
Cheap
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