Hills

Mutants love my food

Must be the uranium

The hills have bacon

Taste

Is fondant real food?

Mary Alice says it is

My cakes taste like dirt

Death

Tried my Walmart cakes?

Butter and sugar and spice

Cheap boxes of death

Mine

New York's first lady?

The title will be all mine

Enforced cocktail time!

Fat

I was a chef stud

Sexed up all the FN chicks

Before I was fat

Tears

Smiling through my tears

I keep repeating myself

They won't let me stop

Poison

No one likes my food

I have a little secret

I added poison

Ghosts

Ghosts keep me awake

Will I win the next throw down?

Or reveal my lie?

Buried

I'll grill all of you

Who's buried in my basement?

That's Jackie Malouf

Bitch

Food Net is my bitch

I run this whole goddamn show

I'll throw your ass down

Sunk

How low have I sunk?

Chopping onions and garlic

Cocktail time is beer

Shut

I can't stop talking

Please someone help me shut up

My food is garbage

Breasts

My purpose in life?

To cook Italian food

They just see my breasts

Die

I deep fry butter

Eat bacon grease for dessert

So why can't I die?

Nightmare

Cheap ingredients

Have replaced my tablescapes

Life is a nightmare

Womb

Plain white countertops

Barren kitchen, like my womb

My face is falling

Whole

I cook but don't taste

There's never enough vodka

I will eat you whole

Fill

Empty place inside

Maybe food will fill it up

My jeans are too tight

Buds

Poor drunken Sandra

Spent money on boobs and booze

Has no tastebuds left

Soup

I drank during prep

Must go potty in the soup

Please don't tell the crew